Listening to Your Baby

classes: 4 week baby massage class starts Thursday, February 16 from 10:30-11:30 am. at Birth Source, Inc. located at 5024 - 106 Ave. Edmonton, Alberta, (also, Tai Chi starts Nov.3 7-9 pm)
Tai Chi Chih class starts: Feb.13 12-1 pm. at Capilano Community Hall, Edmonton

Babies Talk all the time in many ways. Sometimes they are heard- sometimes not. Really listening to anyone is an art, but especially with a baby. Their eyes, their smiles, their little hands waving - are all talking - a relaying of important information. Like many "arts" - the art of listening to a baby requires us to be present, focused and willing for a short period to "let go of everything else" and to truly be here in the moment. Listening allows a space to open up for a baby to "be heard", to "be understood", and to "be validated", which leads to needs being met.
For instance, if your baby is willing to make eye contact with you, it may mean that they are in the newborn cycle of "quiet alert", which is the best cycle to accept a short massage from you. When you begin the massage, and notice all their subtle responses to each stroke you do with them, you can do more of the stokes they like the best in this moment, and "voila", your baby can feel "heard" by you, increasing the closeness between you, and deepening their "sense of self".

You are listening to your baby when you take note of all the things that help them feel relaxed,safe and secure. When with their help you figure out how they calm themselves, what positions they like best and when hunger sucking turns to comfort sucking.

"Listening to another" is part of every healthy relationship and an important part of your sweet unfolding ongoing relationship with your baby.

Thanks for joining me and see you next posting.
Sharon

Sharon's Sweet Baby Dream Blog

UPCOMING CLASSES IN EDMONTON, ALBERTA

Loving Hands: Learn to Massage Your Baby
4 week class starts: Thursday, September 8, 2011 - 1:30-2:30 pm. Class held at BIRTHSOURCE 5024 - 106 Ave. Edmonton 780-758-2525
Also: contact Sharon ( About Sharon) for further information

(Tai Chi class starting at BirthSource on September 15, 7-8 pm.)

" EXPECTING - TAI CHI"

Tai Chi and Massage have always gone together for me. Doing some gentle Tai Chi movements before giving a massage has always helped me to feel calm and centered and then after the session Tai Chi's energy and revitalizing flow make make sure I feel grounded and balanced.

In baby massage classes, I always suggest to new parents to practice some Tai Chi or stretching exercises before massaging their little one, to do something that will help 'bring them to the moment', to truly be present with their baby, not thinking of other things: work undone, unwashed dishes, what's for dinner? - but to just be with their baby. To be the most present they can be for this vital connection during the massage.

I fact, now that I think of it, there is a connection between babies and Tai Chi. There's an old saying in Taoism, "breathe as a new born babe", that soft, gentle breathing where the tiny belly moves in and out as the baby breathes - unfettered, full body breathing. A baby is truly alive in this present moment, not in any other. The spirit shines brightly in their eyes, the mysteries of beyond within their gaze. It is an honor to gaze into a newborn's eyes.

Yep, babies and Tai Chi - what a connection! In the moment, relaxed, breathing from the belly, close to the mystery, gentle yawning and stretching!
A regular Tai Chi practice is a wonderful way to prepare your body and yourself for the experience of birthing. Relaxing, letting of go of deep held stress, freeing yourself to gather your energy for this important event. Tai Chi is energy and blood flow - circulating freely, partners in health and well-being.

Tai Chi is safe through pregnancy and into labour (with some common sense precautions) and is waiting right there for you after the birth - picking up where you left off. Restoring your energies, helping you connect to your intrinsic self and to your baby.
Thanks for tuning in and see you next posting.
Sharon

BABY MASSAGE BLOG WITH SHARON

UPCOMING CLASSES IN EDMONTON, ALBERTA

INFANT MASSAGE 4 CLASS SERIES: Thursday, February 24,  1:30-2:30 PM'

"Tai Chi for Fitness, Health, and Relaxation: 6 week class starts: March 10  7-9 pm.
 7-8 pm
Location: BIRTHSOURCE 5024 - 106 AVE.

Please CONTACT Sharon FOR MORE INFORMATION

"ESPECIALLY FOR DADS"

I was walking towards the conference room in the Alberta Children's Hospital in Calgary last Saturday where I was about to teach a "Loving Hands for Expectant Parents" workshop, when I noticed this sign on the room next door: "Especially for Dads". Intrigued, I stopped and introduced myself to the class Instructor. He told me that he taught this class once a month for men who were about to be Dads, to help them prepare for the arrival of their baby. I peeked in a few times throughout the morning and noticed that the class was quite large, full of very interested dads to be.

I've noticed this interest in dads to be in my own classes in infant massage. It used to be that often the moms and moms to be would drag along their male partners to class. Now, sometimes its the dads dragging along the moms!!

Dads are definitely stepping up to the bat when it comes to soaking up information to prepare for the birth of their child. It's wonderful to see. My own class that morning went well, 6 couples coming to learn more and feel more confident about handling and comforting their newborns through touch.

Skills to practice and think about in readiness for the grand day of their baby's arrrival. One of the things I share with expectant parents is the specialness of each of their interactions with their baby. For example, when mom massages her baby, there are certain benefits, and also, when dad massages his baby, there are complementary benefits, a different quality. So, even though the dad doesn't get to be close to his infant through the breastfeeding experience- massage bridges that gap - deepens and forges the bond that will last a lifetime. And, his male, daddy touch is unique to him-the same, and yet different.

In fact, we each have a unique quality when it comes to touch - just like we have our own individual body 'scent' called a 'chemical signature' - we each have a unique touch quality called a 'touch signature'.

Your baby knows your touch, your voice, your scent, making you the 'expert' when it comes to calming and comforting them. Others may share the 'tips' and 'techniques' for benefits like 'gas relief' and 'helping your baby sleep at night', but you are the best person to take, use, and turn the techniques into the LOVE you have for your baby. Both Dads and Moms!!!

Take care and see you next posting!

Sharon

Sharon's Sweet Baby Dream Blog- Infant Calming

Upcoming Infant Massage 4 class series (parent and baby)
Dates: October 19,21,26,28 or Novmber 9,11,16,18, 2010
Location: LeSoleil Health and Wellness, #15, 9353-50St. Edmonton, Alberta
Time: 10-11 am contact Sharon for more information and to register

Also: Loving Hands for Expectant Parents: 10-12 noon Sat.Nov 13, 2010

Hi everyone,welcome to my SWEET BABY DREAM BLOG and a special hello to any new parents that may be checking in here that I met in Calgary this month at the Alberta Childrens Hospital and the Rockyview Hospital in their Birth and Babies class when I presented infant touch and massage. Infant Self Calming is an idea that I find truly amazing and important for new parents to be aware of and informed about. It goes like this: babies have an innate, instinctual knowledge of how to calm themselves, they know how to do it. However, they need their parents help to figure it out. Awareness that their baby can do this marvelous thing and the skill to guide their baby in the process and to let them discover it, is invaluable for new parents. The main ways a baby can calm themselves can include: non-nutritive sucking, body movement and position and vision.

It takes time and communication with your baby for it all to unfold, but imagine, learning how to calm yourself at this tender age, what a lifelong gift. As a Massage Therapist, I know that one of the areas we as adults have trouble with is how to "relax inside", to stay calm when life gets stressful, when circumstances and life events just begin to pile up. If we learnt how to relax inside as tiny babies, what would our lives be like? It's often said that stress is accountable for many ills and problems in our lives. What if we could head this all off at the pass - to physically and emotionally calm down in the face of stress, to truly "go with the flow", and not suffer ill effects from "trying situations". Also, it is said that it's not the stress that gets you , it's how you deal with it. Well, a baby learning that they can self calm is to me, a wonderful , important piece of information and well worth learning about. The term is "self-soothing, or self-calming" and I recommend the book "The Self-Calmed Baby" A Revolutionary New Approach to Parenting Your Infant , written by Dr. William Sammonds MD

Take care and see you next posting!
Take care and see you next posting!!!

SHARON'S 'SWEET BABY DREAM' BLOG

Upcoming classes:

LOVING HANDS FOR EXPECTANT PARENTS: CALMING YOUR BABY WITH TOUCH
Learn different massage and touch skills to comfort and relax your baby from the day he or she
is born. Hands on practice will help increase your confidence in soothing your baby.

Edmonton: June 26 at Le Soleil Health and Wellness, #15, 9353 - 50 St. Contact: Sharon
Calgary: June 19 through Calgary Health Region
Time: 9:30-12:30 contact: Birth and Babies, Calgary Health Region

INFANT MASSAGE 4 CLASS SERIES:
Infant massage enhances the loving communication between parent and baby:
Edmonton: July 20,22,27,29 Time: 10-11am. Contact Sharon Melvin
Calgary: May18,20,June 15,17 through Calgary Health Region

Welcome to my "Sweet Baby Dream " Blog, where I can share with you stories and facts regarding the importance of touch and your new baby. I also share topics of interest to new parents. I invite you to join me regularly and I would also love to hear from you.

Preparing for your baby's birth

Those few days before a baby's birth are a special time to rest and harbor strength for the adventure ahead. Research shows that babies are aware of the world outside the womb and
and are also aware of the emotional state of their mother. An " about to be Mom" can prepare herself and her environment to be reassuring for her newborn baby. I also know at this point you may just want the baby to be here and for the birthing part to be over. This last stage of pregnancy, the 'Pre-birth time" can be uncomfortable. If possible, spend a few days quietly resting and relaxing. Other nurturing things to do are listening to soft and gentle music, gently rubbing your tummy and gently reassuring your baby that everything is alright. You also might want to take this same music to your delivery room. What a nice transition for your baby! These same relaxing sounds and the sound of your voice reassure and help them leave their safe fluid world to transition solftly into this world to be hed securely in your waiting arms.

So, for these last few days, resist the temptation to clean out that fridge one more time. Instead, have your favourite meal, put your feet up, and relax. Truly relax, blend and bond with your baby, open to your senses, enjoy music........and relax.

During the birth, if there are no complications, turn down the lights, and hold your baby
close to your heart as soon as possible after birth. This is truly one of the most precious moments of your life and you are preparing for it thoughtfully and lovingly.

Recommended Reading:

"Birth Without Violence", by Dr. Frederick Leboyer, (A pioneer in birthing practices in North America)

SHARON'S "SWEET BABY DREAM' BLOG

- a chat forum for new and expectant parents, massage professionals and
health care providers.

Welcome to my Sweet Baby Dream blog! I have created this forum to share information with you in three different sections. each of which will be updated monthly. "Touch - Did you Know?" will include news and updates from the world of research, at the same time sharing wisdom from throughout the ages as well as across cultures. "Planning and Preparing for your baby's birth" will be a place to illustrate the kinds of things parents have done or can expect as they anticipate the arrival of their little one. "Touching Stories" will be our chance to share the stories of pregnancy, birth, and babies which have moved us in some way. As I write from my experiences, teaching, and research, I invite you, the reader, to send along the experiences which have most helped and touched you as well. As the African proverb says, "It takes a village to raise a child", so let's make this sweet forum a lovely part of that.

Touch - Did you Know?

Touch is critical to our well-being. In face, it is so important that all our other senses rely on the
sense of touch for their growth and development. Much is transmitted through a touch: calm,
comfort, and communication. A touch is worth a thousand words. Touch nourishes babies like water nourishes a plant. Touch is truly life-giving. Babies who are touched thrive; touch is their
lifeline. Touch is literally our first language.

We are each truly unique. We have a unique fingerprint, a unique smell (called a chemical signature), a unique sound (our voice), and a unique touch. Your baby can tell your touch from
someone else's. In face, there are cultures that believe a baby receives different qualities
and benefits from a father's touch than from a mother's - touch is that unique.

Always remember that your touch, your voice, your chemical signature, are all more comforting
to your baby than anyone else's. Ashley Montagu, the well-known anthropologist who wrote the
ground breaking book 'Touching', states that the human baby is about 3 months short of the
gestational development of all other mammals. However, if a human baby waited another 3 months. the head would be too large to go through the birth canal. Not to mention that it would
also be very hard on a human mom to be pregnant that long!

This "gestational shortfall", if you will, makes human babies the most helpless mammal at birth.
They are totally dependent on their parents for survival. It's why the first 3-month period is
sometimes called the 4th trimester...and these months are crucial for development. When you stroke your baby's skin, messages are sent to the brain via the nervous system that tell the brain to release growth and development hormones. Also released are the hormones for relaxation and well-being, so the message is: touch away!

Planning and Preparing for Your Baby's Birth

Pregnancy is a special time in your lives. You are excited, anxious, curious...a whole range of
emotions,and you know that your baby's birth will change your lives forever.
You prepare for this event in a lot of different ways. In observing expectant couples over the
years, I've wondered why they are often moving house right around the time of their baby's
birth. And if they are not outright moving, then at least renovating, or in some other way
changing their living space. I think it might be connected to the upheaval they are feeling
over the life-shifting event about to happen.

A few years ago, in one on my infant massage classes, I met a young mom who shared with
the class that when she and her husband found out she was pregnant with their first child, they decided to move to Scotland. They followed the strong desire to be with his family and to have their first child in the land of his birth, his roots. After their little girl was born, she was having painful bowel movements and one of the nurses suggested massaging her tummy, teaching them
one of the universal baby massage strokes, sometimes called 'the water wheel'.
It worked very well, so well, in fact, that when their next child was born back in Canada, the
young mom enrolled in a baby massage class to learn more.

This story of moving to Scotland illustrates a very dramatic change for the celebration of a birth, but many couples choose to prepare and change in smaller ways, like simply upgrading their living space to accommodate the growth in their family. These undertakings are all part of the nesting energy, part of acknowledging the change in the lives of expectant parents. And so it is
that many couples find themselves with tiny babes in arms, tiptoeing around boxes. But it all
usually turns out and everyone adjusts. Life has shifted, but in a fabulous way...and goes on.

Touching Stories

After class one day a few years ago, one of my Tai Chi students told me that she needed to have
an operation. She said that when it came time for the procedure, she would visualize her mother's hands holding her. "They were full of healing, my mother's hands," she said. So
convinced of this was she, that when her brother had needed an operation, she also told him to
visualize their mother's hands. To hear this story of the healing, comforting power of touch, I was moved by this woman's remembrance of her mother's hands, of the healing power she felt
they had.

After this conversation, I went on to teach my next class, which happened to be baby massage.
Something amazing happened at that class. As we went around the circle, each parent sharing
the past week, one young mom told us that her daughter, a cute little 3-month old, loved to hold her hands. Another young mom added, "Yes, I know. Sometimes there I am, my arm hanging
over the crib, so that my daughter can hold my hand". This was the first time I had heard young
moms talking about something like this in class and it gave me goose bumps. What an incredible
synchronistic moment. Were these two seemingly separate stories just coincidence or were they
part of the great mystery of life? Either way, it was beautiful...a wonderful and powerful reminder of the importance of touch.